Dateline: MIAMI
The discussion concerning which college football team deserves the right to be No. 1 had come down to this.
“Remember when Notre Dame jumped from No. 9 to No. 1?” asked Oklahoma coach Barry Switzer. “Only Notre Dame could do that. Has anyone ever checked on how many Catholics vote in the polls? Somebody ought to count the Protestants.”
Actually, Notre Dame went from fifth to first by beating Texas in the 1978 Cotton Bowl, but these things tend to get exaggerated as the years pass, and Switzer had tried everything but begging to boost his Sooners for the national championship.
Switzer was not above questioning the religious conscience of those who annually decide the issue of which scholars played the best football.
“The problem,” reminded Washington coach Don James, “is Mormons.”
And so it is. And nothing that happened in the Orange Bowl Tuesday night will change that. Brigham Young had both the luxury and the agony of watching Oklahoma and Washington try to change the minds of voters who had placed BYU first before and after its season ended without a loss nearly two weeks ago.
“The only thing I am sure of,” said James, “is that it is between them and the Orange Bowl winner.”
IN WHICH CASE, it is between Brigham Young and Washington, which upended Oklahoma 28-17.
“They are the best team we have played,” said Switzer. “Washington deserves to be No. 1. They are 11-1, have the next-best record and I guarantee you they are a better team than Brigham Young.”
“We get my vote,” said James.
That such important matters should be left to a vote is, of course, a grand tradition of all enlightened civilizations, dating to the Romans who used to decide life and death by the hang of their thumbs.
College football being much more important than that, modern voters are presumed to use their entire hands, palm up, yes; palm down, no. The fingers are then counted and divided by five, which gives us the final total and our national champion.
Switzer is alert to the process and after Oklahoma’s last practice made sure his team knew exactly who this game was being played for.
“It will be watched by millions,” Switzer said, “but the people you have to impress are 60 sportswriters.”
Having often shared the same space with large numbers of sportswriters, I have seen them confused over which knife to eat the peas with, but that does not make the (AP) sportswriter’s poll any less valid than the coaches’ (UPI). Coaches have their own selfish interests to consider, not the least of which is recruiting. Until the rules change, Switzer and the rest of us are stuck with one another.
“ANYBODY WHO CAN beat Oklahoma, which beat Oklahoma State and Nebraska, ought to be No. 1,” James said. “The only team that beat us (Southern Cal) won the Rose Bowl today.”
“It’s easier to be a mythical national champion than a real one,” Switzer said. “All you have to do is win your conference and one bowl game. There will not be a true national champion until you start playing east to west and make one team beat the world.”
A system, by the way, that Switzer does not favor, but one in which Brigham Young would have had a tough time surviving.
In the past few years, we have had unlikely champions, Miami and Clemson to name two, but at least they had to beat Nebraska to earn their title. Beating an intramural schedule without anybody watching and then barely surviving the worst Michigan team in years is not enough to prove Brigham Young better than a dozen better bullies whose records were worse because they beat up each other.
And yet, the mere possibility that Brigham Young may be No. 1 is exactly what college football deserves as long as it resists a natural tournament.
James favored diplomacy when addressing the merits of Brigham Young, his caution based in practical coaching. Washington must play Brigham Young next season. Switzer, however, was burdened by no such restraint since the chance of Oklahoma and Brigham Young ever showing up on the same field is as unlikely as oysters and grits showing up on the same plate.
“Of the eight major conferences in college football,” said Switzer, “Brigham Young’s (the Western Athletic Conference) is ranked last. It is just not the toughest conference in college football. Before Arizona and Arizona State moved to the Pac-10, Brigham Young couldn’t win a championship.”
EVEN JAMES SIDED with Switzer’s argument that Brigham Young played a benign schedule.
“When Robbie Bosco (BYU’s QB) was hurt against Michigan (in the Holiday Bowl), you get an idea of what it would be like for them to play that kind of competition every week. In the Big 10 or the Big Eight, they would have a tough time winning the next week.”
I have no vote in any of this, but any game that includes nine fumbles, four interceptions, a muffed punt snap, a forward pass to the center, a penalty on a wagon pulled by toy horses (nearly two yards for every unauthorized hoof on the field) and a kickoff dropped out of bounds at the 2- yard line cannot produce champions, only fools.
Brigham Young will be No. 1 because somebody has to be. But like town drunks and village idiots, they shouldn’t brag about it.
Brigham Young is not, but neither is Washington.